- Most psychologists want the best for the patient, not just for themselves. But there are also harmful therapists. We must be able to talk about that.

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This is part of what appears in a guest post from an anonymous writer. hjelptilhjelp.no knows the writer's identity. Here you read the entire guest post.

The author writes:


Seek help in a very vulnerable situation

No one likes to think that the "helpers" - the psychologists or therapists - are people who sit for many years with patients that no one else has access to. Retraumatization, new traumas, manipulation and abuse of power are a fact.

I ask that you dare to write about not only harmful therapy, but harmful therapists. They exist.

I came to the treatment after a 12 year long dangerous relationship. I was on contact with any psychiatric service, but I found the psychologist in another city and paid for it myself. I got there after an absolutely horrible experience and was strongly affected by anxiety and fear. 


Met an emotional abuser

It seems that psychologists generally know a lot about diagnoses, but often know very little about what happens to someone who comes out of a relationship, with gaslighting, and all the other methods of manipulation.

I could not comprehend that the psychologist could become an emotional and psychological abuser. 

I eventually went all the way into my old, submissive patterns of behavior. They were the only ones I knew.

The psychologist went straight into this, and I somehow degraded from a "person in need of some support" to a "patient". I was stuck in this abusive relationship pattern with the "helper" for several years, but I was continualy told that I was the problem.

Finally, when it became possible - when a "tiny window of opportunity" arose - I managed to end a completely addictive therapy.


The aftermath - little happened

It had its repercussions when I really understood what had happened. 

After such therapy, there is no one there for the patient. The psychologist is surrounded by colleagues, unions, and people who sometimes cover each other. 

A complaint was lodged with the hospital, which denied all responsibility. Complaints were sent to the psychologists' association's ethics council, which has been the one with the most integrity. To really effect a change, the only way to move forward might however be to try such serious cases in court.


- I know what happened to me

I'm lucky because I know what happened to me. Those who do not understand it have little chance of having a normal life.

This is how it is to go into harmful therapy with a harmful psychologist. Yes this exists.

I grew up in a country where, despite many encounters with the public services, I have not always experienced the best. Yet it never took away the belief in the fundamental rights of the individual and the belief in being heard.

Most psychologists want the best for the patient, not just for themselves.


- Written by Anonymous