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The book is described in the following manner on Amazon:

Still struggling from the effects of an abusive relationship?

Many people do and sadly there is very little information available to be found online or in the written research, or with counsellors and therapists that can help. The Gaslight Effect is not officially recognised, nor is it widely even known.

Even when it is accepted, recognised and known not many people seem to know what to DO ABOUT IT to heal it… The fact is being in a relationship with a narcissist over a long period of time has long lasting traumatic effects that can be extremely catastrophic to the person suffering them.




  1. Doubting yourself and your sanity
  2. Feeling like you’re losing your mind
  3. Feeling like you’re always apologizing
  4. You’re second-guessing your memory
  5. Feeling like you aren’t good enough
  6. Feeling misunderstood
  7. Feeling lonely
  8. Ruined self confidence
  9. Extreme weight loss or weight gain
  10. Uncharacteristic jealousy/ insecurity
  11. Feeling like you don’t know the difference between right and wrong
  12. Extreme paranoia (being turned into an obsessive detective)
  13. Endless, repetitive obsessive thinking about your ex
  14. Constantly trying to find explanations for what has happened
  15. Feelings of helplessness and despair
  16. A desire to self isolate
  17. Feeling desperately misunderstood
  18. Overwhelming feelings of loss and grief
  19. Extreme bouts of rage
  20. An inability to be comfortable with yourself
  21. Strange dreams
  22. Sudden inexplicable anxiety followed by rapid dips into depression

The list goes on….



I hear this frustrated cry from abused people a lot.


  1. Gaslighting is a covert aggressive way of distorting another person’s perception of reality to the point that that person questions their sanity or their memory.
  2. Gaslighting is crazy-making, it makes you think that you’re actually going crazy.
  3. Gaslighting is a way of hiding the abuse.
  4. Gaslighting is lying with a goal.

The motive behind the gaslighting is to make you think that you’re crazy or that your memory doesn’t work right. So you can’t trust yourself and your perceptions of reality.

This means you’ll defer to the abuser for an account of what’s real so slowly over time the abuser becomes the authority over your life. Gaslighting takes place in relationships, like one-on-one relationships. It takes place in friendships, in family, in work, you’ll see gaslighting on the news, you’ll hear gaslighting coming from politicians, corporate shills, cult leaders, advertising commercials, etc.

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ove heradstveit

Ove Heradstveit

Psykolog, spesialist i klinisk samfunnspsykologi. PhD.
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