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The diagnosis of emotionally unstable personality disorder has been difficult to accept, writes the woman behind the blog Speak with words. I have avoided talking about the diagnosis, but today I felt ready for it.

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Here you read the full post.

I had an appointment with my therapist today, and I chose to talk about my diagnosis. 

I have really avoided talking about the diagnosis as it has been difficult for me to accept, but today I felt ready for it. 

I recorded what I read on the blog mental illness - lecture on own diagnosis where she had been to a lecture. And my therapist was a little shocked by what I said, and she wondered what my opinion was about it. I said that I really felt sorry for him who had that lecture, because he had no other perspective on things and was so narrow-minded. He pulls everyone in the treatment services under the same ridge, and it goes wrong.

And a diagnosis is not the whole truth of a human being.

I heard from my therapist that I was good at reflecting, and that it was good that I thought that way. She said that she has healed people who have had this diagnosis. "There is hope," she said. 

Emotionally unstable personality disorder is not something you are. It is a diagnosis you have. A disorder of the personality.

I was asked what symptom was affecting me now, lately. I mentioned then that I have had some suicidal thoughts. The thought of wanting to give up. But it probably has something to do with my fluctuations, which my therapist mentioned she thought was more the current symptom at the moment. I think that I have so many fluctuations that the suicidal thoughts go accordingly. 

When I am far down, the suicidal thoughts come easier, when I am far up, the suicidal thoughts are not there. And I often swing from day to day, and at times during a day.


borderline quote

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Do not feel that I have a stability right now. And I have now only managed to accept the diagnosis I received in November. It has taken time, but I have felt I needed that time too.

I do not like the diagnosis, but I accept it.

- From the blog Speak with words

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