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- I do not want to feel so insignificant and to have this poor feeling of failure.

Photo: by Gustavo Lampert on Unsplash

This is what an anonymous writer writes in an anonymous guest post. do not know the identity of the person. Here you can read the whole post:

I have struggled much in my life and 2 years ago I was told that I struggle with avoidant personality disorder. But I had no idea that there was a treatment for it.

I really felt like I was being diagonized, stamped with a label and thrown into nothing.

I have social security, so financially I am fine, but socially I am very alone. Thank goodness I have a nice family, but some days this is not enough. 

Why have I not received treatment? I am constantly feeling that the system has failed me and does not want to help.

I want to be able to overcome everything I'm afraid of. I want to be able to bond with people around me without feeling insecure and that I have less value than everyone around me.

I do not want to feel that I mean so insignificant and have this poor feeling of failure.

I know we are currently in the corona crisis, and it has been extra hard to ask for help. It especially feels like this when you meet the health service, and they do not take you seriously, but say that I should just go on to establish a family and I will be happy.

And they say I'm too happy to be ill.

I am 32 years old. I have no friends. My family is the closest, but we also have a complicated relationship due to neglect and psychological abuse.

I know that trust does not come easily to me, but I have fought every day and every night to keep my head up and to be positive.

But it is also incredibly hard and even harder when people really just ignore me, and do not understand my situation.

I understand that right now there are more important things to take care of.

But I have gone to a psychologist for many years without getting further help or support to get on with my life. 

Right now I'm really a little helpless because I can not go outside the way I would like to do. I want to avoid being completely locked in, because I know that it will get even more difficult to go outside later, when you are not allowed to expose yourself to situations that cause anxiety.

I just wish I could get some tips or something so I do not go on a rampage and get depressed.

- Written by anonymous

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